Spade and Bourdain - Making Sense of Tragedy

By: Polina Eidelman, Ph.D.

In the past week, a great deal of press has been dedicated to covering the passing of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, two celebrities whose deaths felt quite shocking to the public. These were individuals who seemed so original, creative, successful, intelligent, and inspiring to many of us, and they were a part of the lives of many people who had never met them. Perhaps we knew them from watching their adventures in the culinary world and found inspiration in their unapologetic and strong opinions. Or perhaps we interacted with their name on a daily basis when we used a favorite bag or wallet. Hearing about the passing of a celebrity who was as widely admired as Kate Spade or Anthony Bourdain can feel shocking - how, we ask, could a person who had so much going for them have felt so hopeless?

It is hard to know what to make of the suicide of someone we do not know, but perhaps it can serve as an opportunity to check in with ourselves to make sure that we are attuned to the difficulties anyone can have, no matter their level of privilege. Depression, hopelessness, and suicidal thoughts can make us loathe ourselves and make us think that we are not deserving of help - "I have so much", we might say, "how can I possibly justify asking for help when so many others out there have it so much worse?" We might feel a great deal of shame when we think of the luck we've had in our lives and find ourselves unable to justify feeling unhappy.

This is how the automatic thoughts that stem from depression feed on themselves. They make us feel wrong, ashamed, incompetent, unlovable, and they block us from asking for the very thing we need. These depressive thoughts reinforce themselves, making us feel more and more stuck in a loop of negative thinking, hopelessness and self-disgust, and then making us withdraw from the things or people that could help us feel even a little bit better. If there is anything useful that might come from learning about a beloved celebrity's death by suicide, perhaps it can be the idea that depression and suicide do not discriminate, and that economic or social privilege are not protectors against them.

If you are considering getting help, please know that there are many options available to you - cognitive behavior therapy, dialectic behavioral therapy, medications, and support groups, among other empirically supported options. If you are not yet ready to take a step to get treatment, please know that the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24 hours/day at 1-800-273-8255.

Depression and hopelessness can affect anyone, and every person who is struggling with despair or thoughts of self-harm is deserving of help.

 

Previous
Previous

New Paper on Social Network Quality and Treatment Outcome Published

Next
Next

Self-Care in Difficult Times